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Zach and I made cookie press cookies together for the first time today. I’ve been thinking about my sister so much this past week and this was one of our favorite activities when we were kids. Mom always let us pick out the molds and go crazy with the sprinkles and food coloring. I think our favorite was mixing green and red dough for the Christmas cookies. Zach didn’t really seem interested in the different shapes, but he did seem to like eating the cookie dough as fast as I pressed out cookies!
Being in the kitchen making cookies always reminds me of Jess. We spent so much time together in the kitchen making cookies and muffins when we were kids. Anyone who has ever spent much time with Jess knows how much she loved to cook. I stopped baking once I went to college, but not Jess. I remember her telling me she would ride her bike to the store her freshman year in college to get the ingredients for muffins, which would then disappear pretty quickly in the dorm after all her hard work. And when we came home for Christmas from college, it was Jess who organized the cookie making and made sure we had a traditional dinner. For a few years, she made little recipe books for Christmas presents for friends and family with her current favorites.
I think Zach and I are starting to make some of our own traditions in the kitchen. We make muffins once a week or so (the only way to sneak some vegetables and fruit into this child) and he likes to help “chop-chop” things for dinner even if he won’t eat them. Just like with my sister, I love being in the kitchen with him, and I hope he indulges his mother for a long time.
This weekend was so hard for me. My sister’s friends in Madison have worked really hard to put together a memorial garden for her and the dedication was Saturday. I wasn’t able to attend and it was so difficult not to be there.
I took Zach outside yesterday and we sat by the stream and had our own ceremony. I talked to him about Aunt Jess and tried to tell him all the things about the stream and the rocks that I’m sure Jess would have gotten down on her knees in the mud to make sure he saw. I try to honor her in how I parent by being observant, patient and involved, the qualities I admired most about by sister. And every time I am outside with him, letting him splash in the mud and admire bugs and newts, I can feel Jess right there beside me splashing in the mud too.
Here is what my Dad read at the dedication- which I wish I could have heard in person.
Jessica is here. Hello Jessica. The Madison Community you chose, chooses to remember you today. Hello Jess. Your friends and classmates have spent their time and effort to be here and they remember you. Hello J. You sister, Laura is 8 months pregnant with her second son and unable to attend. She named her first son Zachary Jesse Pullara. She will always remember you. Hello JJ. Your father is here and will remember and love you always. Hello everyone. Thank you all attending. It is a day I will always treasure and remember.
I love plants and I love my garden. One of the hardest things about being on bedrest has been not to get a vegetable garden going or any of my flowers planted. My Mother’s Day present last weekend was some plants for the deck and some help planting them! Now that it is warm, I can sit out on the deck (in the hammock from my sister) and look at flowers and the lake. I’ve felt a little less restless the last few days because of this, and because it finally feels like summer and that means the baby will be here soon.
Gardening at Lake Dawn is not easy. And it doesn’t help that I have the exact opposite of a green thumb. The weather here is so wacky- the growing season is short and nights are cold even in the summer which makes things grow so slowly. The deer and I seem to have the same taste in plants so I routinely find some favorites munched to the ground. Now with construction, I’ve lost a few things to insensitive and blind septic guys and cement mixers. Joe saved some native plants for me before the septic guys trashed the yard and I will add that to the already long list of why I love him.
Like my new lawn ornament?
We are adding onto our house this summer. Construction started yesterday and the first thing they did was turn the sewer and water off for the day! I wasn’t really expecting that… and luckily I didn’t need to make any visits to the honey bucket.
We are adding on a basement, two bedrooms and a master bedroom to the side of the house. It will almost double the square footage of the house. I’ve been a little conflicted at times about this project; I really wish we could make do with what we have and I feel terrible about the resources we will use to make the addition. But we really need the space, especially with the new baby. It will also make it so much easier to have family and friends stay with us when we have visitors. We’re hoping to do as “green” as possible building and re-use some materials.
And on the note of extravagant things… we finally got around to using our Christmas gift certificates to REI and bought this double jogger/ bike trailer. Zach was very excited about it and put his trike inside when we explained it was to use with a bike. Since Daddy chose to put the trailer together 15min before bedtime (what was he thinking?!) we had to read goodnight stories in the trailer (cute) and then part a very frustrated toddler from his new toy to go to bed (not very cute).
Zach and his buddy had some accidental fun with markers at the babysitter’s house today. Don’t they look pleased with themselves? This is a preview for me of how much trouble two boys can get into together!
My son ate BLUEBERRIES today. And yesterday, he ate pasta with red sauce (!) and then TOOK A BITE OF A CARROT! Zach is a wonderful child, but definitely inherited my picky eating habits. He has lived for the past year on cereal, yogurt (only if it is white), milk, cheese and peanut butter. He has even been suspicious of pasta and rice. The fruit or veggies that have passed his lips have been pureed and then disguised in things like pancakes, smoothies and muffins, and sometimes that doesn’t even work. As for meat, that has been a totally lost cause, except for occasional forays into the dog’s food. I’m not sure what brought about this recent improvement, but it is very exciting to imagine branching out from grilled cheese and peanut butter and jelly as our only dinner options.
Here is a little video of Zach eating one of his “white” dinners (cheese, yogurt and milk). He was doing great with his yogurt until he decided he needed to feed his baby (according to Zach, everyone in our house has a baby in their tummy)
We’ve been lucky to have two sets of grandparents visit this month. Fran (Joe’s mom) was here for Zachary’s birthday at the beginning of April and my Dad and his wife Rose were here this past weekend. Since I’ve been stuck on the couch, it has been really difficult to entertain Zach. But that is what grandparents are for! It was so much fun for me to sit back and watch Zach interact with his grandparents. He is so social and talkative now that he can really bond with grandparents when they visit.
Zach and Fran reading “Freight Train”
I especially enjoy watching my parents with Zach. They are so doting and attentive to him that I can picture how delighted they must have been when I was born. And all their attention to Zach also reaffirms how much they love me.
Zach and Grandpa Bill with the train whistle. Just like Grandpa, Zach loves trains!
Sometimes I feel guilty that we decided to live so far away from our parents because I know they would enjoy being able to see Zach on a more regular basis. But maybe that is why these visits are so special because we try to concentrate so much attention and bonding in a short period of time. I never lived close to my Grandmother Elsie and we have a wonderful relationship because she always figured out ways to be part of my life, even though it was at a distance. So I have hope Zach will have a great relationship with his grandparents across the miles too.
